From My Perspective

Here’s something I ’scribbled’ (if that word applies
to MS Word) a while ago, in my office cubicle. All definitions quoted are from
the Oxford Advanced Learner’s Dictionary.

Happy Valentine’s Day, everyone. =)

4 Nov Dec 2007 12.10pm

court verb

HAVE RELATIONSHIP| (old fashioned) if a man courts a woman, he spends time
with her and tries to make her love him, so that they can get married.

be courting (old fashioned) (of a man and a woman) to have a romantic
relationship before getting married.

 
woo (old fashioned) (of a man) to try to persuade a woman to love
him and marry him

 
date noun

ROMANTIC MEETING| a meeting that you have arranged with a boyfriend of
girlfriend or with sb who might become a boyfriend or girlfriend.

HAVE RELATIONSHIP| (old fashioned, AmE) to have a romantic relationship with sb

do you see the subtle difference?

Notice that there is no mention of marriage in the
definition of the word date.

In court and woo, the action comes from
the man.

Court: He
courts the woman, tries to make her love (in modern terms, ‘fall in love
with’) him. And for what purpose? So they can get married!

Woo: He is
persuading a lady to love him. And marry him.

Very very romantic. Especially so if it was a requited love.

The point is he’s supposed to try. Right? If he
does not, there would be no persuasion, no trying, and therefore no wooing
of the lady.

Do ladies want to be pursued? Do they want to be
persuaded? Do they want attention from a guy who is trying to get their
attention? Plainly and shyly, I’d say ‘yes’. Even if she already likes him.

Do guys persuade anymore? Do they pursue? Or do they
wait, watch and see? Perhaps the reason why we don’t use these words anymore is
because guys don’t actively pursue anymore. At a deeper level, guys do not have
the purpose of marriage in mind, not anymore. (Forgive me, I’m generalizing.)

What happened to the idea of marriage? The idea of wanting
a wife? It is now viewed as a liability of some sort. A ‘commitment’ is
what they call it. Something that ties you down. Children are no longer a joy
but they have become a burden. (again, generalizing.)

Wooing and courting is a risky thing.
There’s no guarantee that the lady of your attention would respond positively
to your affections. That’s the risk to take. And that’s his heart on the line.

Do guys today shun risks?

Which leads me to think.. were women back then less
choosy than us ladies now? Did they have a say? Or were they just so happy to
have the attention of one man that they ‘fall in love’ so easily and agree to
marry him. What happened to looking at character, behaviour and attitude?
Values and likes and dislikes? What about seeing how he treats his friends and
family? About how and where he spends his time and money? What about seeing if
you have similar interests and if you both ‘click’ or not?

Or have we made all these up through the years without
realising how simple it actually is, and how complicated we’ve made it to be?

Here’s a part of the script from Enchanted.
(paraphrased as how I remembered it)

“So how long have you known this prince of yours?”

“One day.”

“One day? How do you know you love him in just one
day?”

“Well we sang and danced and I just knew he is the
love of my life!”

If only love were as simple as a song and dance.

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Note: Here’s something else you should read. A spin off from my post. The writer takes on a different perspective, and it’s so much better written than my scribbles, if I may add.
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